It's okay to be not okay

It's okay not to be Okay. First, as a man, I struggle with saying ouch! I used to often say, "I'd rather roll and bleed in the street rather then say ouch!"



As a Christian man, I know that my way is not sufficient to overcome the world. Scripture says,

1 John 4:4English Standard Version (ESV)

4 Little children, you are from God and have overcome them, for he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

Either I believe that or I don't. There are no half measures in overcoming the world and its ways. If I want to be made a new creation in Christ than I need to take this to heart. I can't say this, and then turn around and try to control my life. The world is full of temptation, half-truths, and misinformation. 

My life hurts sometimes. The world doesn't care if I succeed, or feel hurt, or lose everything. All it cares about is itself, and it tells me half-truths. Don't lie, but if you have to don't get caught, don't steal, but if you do make sure you have the money to get away with it. We see the greed, lies and corruption all around us all the time. Just watch the news.

If I want to be free, and have joy, happiness, contentment and peace in my life then I can't live by the world's standards. I have to trust the Lord, and that isn't always easy. To trust in Him, I need to do away with me. I need to be willing to put myself last and Him first.

I'm going through some PTSD things right now, but I know what to do, and I know how to do it. But, I still resist. I still fight, and hold on because "I want things to go my way." 

By surrendering, I am set free. in my weakness, I am made strong. But, still I hold on. Why? The simple truth is because I want what I think I deserve, not what the Lord wants me for me. That's a simple truth. How do I overcome this? I've been asking myself all day. How do I let go, and seek His will for my life?

Again, the simple truth is that I need to surrender. I do this by simply asking Him to do this for me because clearly I'm struggling. It's so simple that is what makes this hard. If there were some ritual, some ceremony to do, I would feel like I'm doing something, but it's a joke. See, my mind keeps telling me that I can do this, but my soul, spirit and every fiber of my being tells me I can't, but He can.

All I have to do is ask, and He'll give me. That's all it takes. To humbly ask with a sincere heart and that's all it takes.

Lord, Jesus, I humbly ask you to make me a new creation today. I'm unhappy that I paid for a new apartment, but I can't move in even though I paid for it because the hot water heater isn't working. I'm grateful though that I still have a roof over my head with hot water, even though I'm so unhappy here.

I ask that you do for me what I can't do for myself, and give me peace of mind, and help me be content with what I have today.

Give me your grace so that I can live in, you and for you today. Your grace is sufficient, and I know that your ways are greater than my ways. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for all that you've done for me, and continue to do for me.

Jesus, you are the love of my life. You make me compleat, and you love me even when I fail, make mistakes and even when I sin. You stay by my side, and the Fathers Holy Spirit counsels me, convicts me and guides me in your ways. Thank you, Jesus! Amen!