Metanoia - Repentance

I’d like to share my thoughts and feelings about repentance, and forgiveness. I used to think that repentance meant turning from my sin. I came to find out that isn’t true, and it all clicked for me when I found out what repentance really is.

The Greek word for repentance is Metanoia. It means a metamorphic change. Like how a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. They are the same creature, but the caterpillar goes through a compleat metamorphic change in order to become a butterfly.

What repentance is not. It is not feeling sorry for our sin’s, although we should feel sorry for the wrong that we do. There is a process that takes place. First, the Holy Spirit convicts us, and our sin affects our conscience causing us to feel badly for what we’ve done. That conviction then turns inward and begins causing us discomfort and pain. Pain is a great motivator. Often when we try to manage our own sin we add to our shame, guilt and remorse. So often by being convicted by the Holy Spirit we seek to get help for that pain. Often it hurts so much that we’re willing to do almost anything to not feel that pain anymore. God gave us a way to be set free from that pain which we call repentance. Often, when we read a confession prayer it often would say something about being heartily sorry for offended thee. Like I said above, we’re sorry because we’re being convicted by the Holy Spirit, and sometimes we’re sorry that we can’t get away with it. But, motive plays only a small part of true repentance. It’s okay to be motivated by our need to be freed from that pain.

I’ve come to learn that almost everything that we do in faith is from His grace. Grace is a supernatural gift of strength, love, forgiveness and so much more. The worst thing that I could do when I repent is to try to manage my sin. That’s when things get really bad for me. I simply can not be in control of my sin. It’s a vicious circle of shame. I would try to turn from my sin, but of course, I kept committing the same sin over and over again. I was addicted to that sin/s. No matter how hard I tried it just wouldn’t leave. No matter how hard I tried I just never made any headway by managing my sin.  My intentions were good, but my faith was lacking in a big way. When I try to be in control faith goes out the window. Faith equals Trust. If I try to manage my sins then I’m not trusting the Lord. We can’t serve two masters I recall hearing that somewhere. Either I’m the master of my life or He is.

Finally, repentance is asking the Lord for His grace to be forgiven for my sin’s. It’s not me trying to do something about it. It requires trust. I remember all my life people would tell me, “Just let it go, and move on with your life.” I just couldn’t forgive myself, I lived in a constant state of shame, remorse and guilt.  When I ask for His grace to change my mind and heart in order for me to stop the sin He gives me that grace, and removes the shame, remorse and guilt from my life. NO MORE SHAME! That’s the difference between my trying to manage my sin life, and God managing it.

I know when I’m lacking in faith whenever I find myself trying to do something about something on my own, and not trusting the Lord. Like I said, either I’m the master or He is.

God bless,

John